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Friday, June 8, 2018

Japanese child fails to jump the barrier four times create a culture like this? Never give Up

Japanese child fails to jump the barrier four times Can we create a culture like this? Never give Up Japanese child fails to jump the barrier four times .Look at the reaction of his class mates. The CULTURE of a country is built and developed in Class Rooms.

1. Master Coaching or Learning from Experts ( his teacher encourages him to go for it again and again)

2. Always surround yourself with positive people ( his friends/class mates are cheering him in his first,second, third,fourth and fifth attempts)

3. Set your goal higher than your ability ( that boy could have easily jumped in his first attempt, if he would chosen a smaller jumping pad)

 4. Patience ( The organizer of the event had patience to allow his master/teacher to give permission for this boy to go for it again and again. There might be many students in the queue to do the same act)

5. Positive Impression on the parents watching it ( This event gives a re-assurance to the parents watching this act, that they have chosen a good institute for their children )

6. Persistence ( That boy could have got depressed and could have left the scene after repeated failures/shame in front of the parents, class mates, school mates etc. Yet he went for it again and again.)

7. Hope and Inspiration for others ( this bunch of events is going to give a lot of hope to the other students who are going to face the same issue again when their turn comes up)

8. Fake it until you make it ( the boy tried to fake the outcome of the act in his second attempt, yet his teacher interwined and gave him a third chance)

9. Life is all about going one more round ( after the third attempt, the boy starts to cry, losing all hope, the teacher asks him to go for one more round)

10. The uphill may be difficult, but the view from the top is beautiful ( if the boy has to recollect his experience later on, in his life - he wouldn't think of the difficulties of this event, rather he would think of how beautiful it was to win that moment and see it from an algother different and positive perspective)

11. Enthusiasm is infectious ( the parents sitting in the first row are taking a video of all these events, they are certainly going to show this to their friends and family on how patience, persistence, encouragement can have beautiful effects on the life of others( may be that is how this video landed on our whatsapp group or some other social media websites))

 12. "Giving example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach"-Albert Einstein ( this video is going to be great example/ lesson to the people who are going to watch it in whatever perspectives they choose to see it.)

13. Books are not the only form of education, solo/group activities like these can shape the thought process of the children/students in a great many ways.
14. Life is like a combinational lock, you may not know the exact combination of when you are going to unlock it ( the boy reaches his success in his fifth attempt. The 5th attempt is not an ordinary one, he is surrounded by many of his classmates and they are all encouraging him to go for it. They would have done something different in the 6th or 7th attempt)

15. Gratitude ( a feeling of being thankful ) towards masters/teachers ( The boy hugs the teacher after his success. This also reminds me of what vanathi mam told us in her last speech to our batch " As a teacher, our only happiness is hearing from you that, you are doing well in your job and life....Stay in touch with us.... "))

16. Learning from the mistakes of the others. We may not get many life's to live our life again and again. We need to learn, not only from our mistakes, but also from the mistakes of the others. ( The classmates who are watching the event would have been watching all these things from the side, they would have made a guess by now, on what different did he do in his final attempt and what mistakes did he do in his inital attempts. They would be in a better position to avaoid those mistakes when their turn comes up)

17. heard of the Golden Rule ? "One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself" ( this boy is going go back to his classmates and he is going to encourage them the same/better way on how he was encouraged in his attempts) 18. Life is how you see it. If you feel that this video has nothing in it. Then you are right. If you feel that this video has lot of things to learn in it, then also you are right. As Henry Ford rights states " Whether you think you can, or think you can't, in either way you are right "

Fewer marriages, more divorces in 2016: Singstat

Fewer marriages, more divorces in 2016: Singstat

The overall decline was a result of fewer civil marriages, though the number of Muslim marriages went up.

INGAPORE: There were a total of 27,971 civil and Muslim marriages registered in 2016, 1.2 per cent lower than the 28,322 marriages registered the year before, according to the latest figures from the Department of Statistics (Singstat).
According to Singstat's Statistics on Marriages and Divorces Reference Year 2016 released on Tuesday (Jul 18), the overall decline was a result of fewer civil marriages, which fell from 22,544 in 2015 to 22,017 last year. This was more than the rise in Muslim marriages, which went up from 5,778 to 5,954 over the same period.
It added that the general marriage rate has remained relatively stable since 2014, with the rate for males at 44.4 marriages per thousand unmarried males aged 15-49 in 2016, up from 40.5 marriages in 2013. Similarly for females, the rate was 41.6 marriages per thousand unmarried females aged 15-49 years, up from 36.9 marriages over the same timeframe.
Conversely, there were 7,614 divorces and annulments in 2016, a 1.2 per cent increase from the year before, according to Singstat.
Civil marriage dissolutions rose from 5,855 in 2015 to 5,912 in 2016. Muslim divorces also grew, from 1,667 to 1,702 over the same period.
The general divorce rate in 2016 was unchanged from 2015, Singstat noted, adding that there were 7.1 male divorcees per thousand married males above the age of 20. For females, the rate was 6.6.
The report also found a "prominent shift" in the age profile of divorcees towards the older age groups in the last decade.
The proportion of divorcees over the age of 45 rose from 31.4 per cent in 2006 to 42.3 per cent in 2016 for males, and from 20 per cent to 28.4 per cent for females, Singstat said, adding that this is in tandem with the ageing population and higher divorce rates for the older population.
The median duration of marriages that end up in divorce is 10 years, Singstat found, adding that 29.9 per cent of divorces involved marriages that lasted between five to nine years.

Marriage infographic
Singstat also found that the wife instituted 62.4 per cent of civil divorces last year. The top two reasons for civil divorce were unreasonable behaviour (53.5 per cent) and having lived apart or separated for three years or more (42.5 per cent).
Looking at Muslim divorces, those filed by the wife constituted almost seven out of 10 of them last year. This is the same figure as in 2006, Singstat said. Both male and female plaintiffs cited infidelity or extra-marital affair as the top main cause of the marriage breakdown.
In a Facebook post, Minister for Social and Family Development Tan Chuan-Jin said his ministry will continue its core work of strengthening and supporting marriages, as "they are the basis of families and society".

He also said those who are planning to get married or have just tied the knot should consider attending a marriage preparation programme.

"A marriage preparation programme called PREP is offered as a complimentary lunchtime talk for couples getting married at the (Registry of Marriages), and the full PREP workshop is available in the community. Our marriage education partners also offer other marriage preparation programmes in the community," he said.

Read more at https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/fewer-marriages-more-divorces-in-2016-singstat-9040550

What Happens to Your HDB Flat after Divorce?

What Happens to Your HDB Flat after Divorce?

Last updated on May 17, 2018
Featured image for the "What Happens to Your HDB Flat after Divorce?" article. It features a block of greyed out HDB flats.
In a divorce, what happens to your property, and more specifically your HDB flat?
The property that you and your spouse share will most likely be the largest asset that has to be divided. This guide will explain the consequences of a divorce, with regard to what happens to your HDB flat and whether you can keep it.

Is Your HDB Flat a Matrimonial Asset to be Divided?

Your HDB flat is most likely a matrimonial asset, which will be divided upon divorce. The Women’s Charter defines “matrimonial assets” to be an asset of any nature acquired during the marriage by one or both parties.
If the asset was acquired before the marriage by only one party, or by both parties, the asset will only be a matrimonial asset if:
  1. The asset is ordinarily used or enjoyed by both parties or one or more of their children while the parties are living together for shelter or transportation or for household, education, recreational, social or aesthetic purposes; and
  2. The asset has been substantially improved during the marriage by the other party or by both parties to the marriage.
If the HDB flat is a gift from a family member, or inherited from a father who has just passed away, it will not be a matrimonial asset whether or not it was acquired before or after the marriage. However, it will be a matrimonial asset if the gift/inheritance becomes the matrimonial home or if the gift/inheritance has been substantially improved during the marriage by both parties to the marriage or by the other party.

Can You Keep Your HDB flat?

If the marriage is void (due to e.g. the non-consummation of marriage) or has been annulled, you have to dispose of the HDB flat. The exception is if either side’s parents were originally listed in the application to buy the flat.
For other cases of divorce, divorcees can retain the flat in the following situations:

Situation 1: Either parties’ parents are originally listed on the flat application

The party whose parents’ names are on the flat application will retain the flat. If the names of either parties’ parents are not on the flat application, you have to return the flat at the prevailing compensation price, subject to HDB’s approval.

Situation 2: The parties’ children are living with you

The divorced party who has the parties’ children living with him/her will be able to retain the flat. However, as mentioned above, this is still subject to the preliminary requirements, that the marriage cannot be due to an annulment of marriage.

Situation 3: The divorcee is eligible under the Single Citizen Scheme

If the divorced parties have no children, the flat can still be retained under the Single Singapore Citizen Scheme, if the divorced party is:
  • A Singapore citizen
  • At least 35 years old
  • The matrimonial flat is a resale flat purchased from the open market without the CPF Housing Grant for Family
For matrimonial flats bought directly from HDB and resale flats bought with the CPF Housing Grant for Family, the 5 year minimum occupation period must be satisfied before the flat can be retained under the Single Singapore Citizen Scheme.

Other situations: HDB’s Prevailing Conditions and Schemes

For divorcees who do not qualify for the Single Singapore Citizen Scheme, one party can include another person to retain the flat with if it qualifies for HDB’s prevailing schemes.

What If You Cannot Meet the Situations Mentioned Above to Keep Your HDB Flat after Divorce?

If you cannot meet the conditions stipulated above, you have to dispose of your HDB flat upon your divorce.
If you and your spouse have completed the minimum occupation period of 5 years, then both of you can sell the flat on the open market. However, if the period of 5 years has not been met, then the parties have to return the flat at the prevailing compensation price, subject to the HDB’s approval.

Division of Matrimonial Assets

If you have to sell off your HDB flat, then a division of the sale proceeds (the matrimonial assets) will be relevant. It is crucial to understand that the starting point for the division of assets is not an equal division of assets, and the division of assets ultimately depends on numerous factors. It should also be noted that a spouse cannot claim that he has an interest in a property owned by the other spouse simply because they were both married.
Ultimately, what happens to your HDB flat after a divorce depends on how the following factors, as stated in section 112(2) of the Women’s Charter:
  • The extent of contributions each party has made in terms of money, property or work towards acquiring, improving or maintaining the matrimonial assets
  • Any debt owing or obligation incurred or undertaken by either party for their joint benefit of any child of the marriage
  • The extent of contributions each party has made towards the family’s welfare, such as looking after the home or caring for the family or any aged relative dependent on either party
  • Any agreement between the parties with respect to the ownership an division of matrimonial assets made in contemplation of divorce, such as the deed of separation
  • The assistance given by one party to the other (this can be material or immaterial), including assistance that helps the other party to carry out his job or business
  • Any period of rent-free occupation or other benefit enjoyed by one party in the matrimonial home to the exclusion of the other party;
  • The child’s needs
  • The marriage’s length
  • Each party’s financial needs
These factors are not exhaustive. Instead, the court will take all circumstances of the case into account and divide the proceeds from the sale of the HDB flat accordingly.

Case Studies

In one case, a husband financially contributed much more to the purchase of the HDB flat (their matrimonial home) by contributing 80% of the purchase price of the house, with the wife contributing 20% of the price. The couple had been married for 18 years.
The contribution ratio alone does not mean that the husband will obtain 80% of the proceeds. The court took into account non-financial contributions of the wife, such as her looking after the home and caring for the family, and the court gave her due credit in such a case. In addition, the court took into account the long marriage of the couple, which lasted 18 years, along with payments made by the wife for children’s clothes, furniture and other family items.
The court eventually ordered the proceeds of the sale to be divided 60/40, with 60% going to the husband, and 40% going to the wife.
It should be noted that there are instances of the court dividing matrimonial assets equally. The individual circumstances of the case matter, especially the financial and non-financial contributions each party has made during the marriage.
Where the marriage was brief, the courts would prefer to divide the assets according to the parties’ respective financial contributions to their purchase.
Ultimately, the court will try divide the assets in the fairest way possible.


How Much Does It Cost to Get a Divorce? A Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Fees in Singapore

Singapore, with fewer people getting married and divorce at a 10-year high, statistics on marriages and divorces for 2016 show. Minister for Social and Family Development Tan Chuan-Jin said on Facebook: "My ministry will continue its core work of strengthening and supporting marriages, as they are the basis of families and our society."
Mr Simon Neo, marriage counsellor at The Psychotherapy Clinic, was not surprised by the drop in marriages.
"Nowadays there are so many open relationships... Commitment is a big issue," he said.
As for the increase in divorces, he said: "Couples these days don't know how to articulate expectations of each other. It comes out in defensiveness and contempt, and they are too busy fighting. The hectic schedule here contributes to it too."
Mr Neo also said that people are more open to inter-ethnic marriages now "because they want to go for what they feel is really good for them".

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Getting a Divorce

A divorce is the legal procedure that ends a marriage. To get a divorce, you will need to file for a divorce with the Family Justice Courts (civil marriages) or the Syariah Court (Muslim marriages).

Civil Divorces

To get a divorce, you need to file for divorce with the Family Justice Courts and comply with the legal requirements of divorce. The law on divorce for civil marriages in Singapore is governed by the Women’s Charter.
To better protect the interests of children affected by their parents’ divorce, divorcing parents with minor children below 14 years of age (to include children below 21 years old at a later phase), who disagree on divorce and ancillary matters, will need to attend a mandatory parenting programme before they can file for divorce. The programme will cover a range of issues that may affect their children including housing, finance, care arrangements and positive co-parenting after divorce. Applicants are able to apply for this programme online via the MSF divorce support microsite from end November 2016.
For More Info:
  • Family Justice Courts
    Established in 2014, the Family Justice Courts (FJC) are a restructure of our Court system to better serve litigants by bringing together all family related work under a specialised body of courts.  FJC is comprised of the Family Division of the High Court, the Family Courts and the Youth Courts and is administered by the Presiding Judge of the FJC. The cases dealt with by FJC include those relating to divorce and ancillary matters, family violence, maintenance, adoption and guardianship, youth court, mental capacity and probate and succession. Its mission is to make justice accessible to families and youth through effective counselling, mediation and adjudication
  • Divorce Procedures
  • Divorce Support
  • FAQs on Divorce

Muslim Divorces

To file for a divorce, you need to apply at the Syariah Court (SYC) and comply with the requirements under the Administration of Muslim Law Act (AMLA). Parties applying for divorce will be required to attend marriage counselling at one of SYC's appointed counselling agencies.
Divorce may have negative effects on the affected couples, on their children, on their families and on the community at large. Hence, Islam discourages divorce.

Syariah Court (SYC)

If couples decide to proceed with divorce after attending counselling, they will be required to attend  mediation. The aim is to help couples settle the ancillary issues amicably. If parties cannot reach a settlement, the Court schedules a hearing and makes the appropriate orders on divorce and related issues under the provisions of (AMLA).

For more information on the SYC, click here.

Divorce Support Specialist Agencies (DSSAs)

The Ministry has appointed four DSSAs in January 2015 as a recommendation of the Family Justice Committee to provide support and care to divorced/divorcing families, in the form of services and programmes. DSSA staff are equipped with specialised skills to handle divorce issues.

Child-Centric Approach

With a strong child-centric approach, DSSA services and programmes help parents:
  • Make an informed decision on divorce
  • Come to terms with the divorce
  • Be equipped with positive co-parenting skills
  • Resolve underlying conflicts in the best interests of the child
  • Learn skills to manage challenges that may result from divorce

Services and Programmes

The DSSAs provide services such as:
  • information and non-legal advice on divorce-related financial and housing issues
  • case management
  • counselling
  • family dispute management
  • support on child access
  • support groups  
They also run evidence-based programmes to help parents and children cope with changes in family structure.
Click here for DSSA locations.

DSSA Programmes

Divorce Support Specialist Agencies offer programmes which adopt a child-centric approach. These programmes are delivered by specialist counsellors and social workers to help   divorcing and divorced families understand the impact of divorce on children.   
A. Mandatory Parenting Programme 
The Mandatory Parenting Programme is a one-to-one consultation session for parents with minor children before they file for divorce. It is designed to encourage divorcing couples make informed decisions that prioritise the well-being of children.
This is a two-hour session by counsellors from Divorce Support Specialist Agencies (DSSAs). All parents with minor children are required under the Women’s Charter Section 94A to attend this programme if they do not have a signed formal agreement pertaining to a parenting plan and all other divorce matters.
The consultation aims to help parents understand:
  • the financial challenges of divorce
  • how divorce impacts living arrangements
  • child custody and access
  • the importance of co-parenting and having a parenting plan
For more information on the Mandatory Parenting Programme, please click here
B. Parenting PACT 
Parenting PACT is a one-time consultation session for divorced parents with children who are 21 years old and below.
The session aims to help parents:
  • understand the impact of divorce on their children,
  • learn cooperative co-parenting strategies
  • practise self-care, and 
  • get more information about the community support resources available
This is a two-hour session conducted by family counsellors from the Divorce Support Specialist Agencies. 
Divorced parents who are required by the Courts to attend this parenting programme will get a notification to attend Parenting PACT by post. 
C. Children in Between (CiB)
Children in Between is a programme for parents and their children who are between 6 to less than 15 years of age.
The workshops under CiB cover topics for both parents and children:
CiB for Parents CiB for Children
Practical Co-parenting skills
    Positive ways to cope with their parents' divorce
Ways to reduce parental conflict
    Exploring feelings and fears, myths and truths
Understanding the needs of their children ia divorce situation
    Skills to share their feelings
This free workshop is run by family counsellors from the Divorce Support Specialist Agencies.
Both parents and their children are encouraged to attend the workshops in separate sessions.
D. Supervised Exchange & Visitation Programme
The Supervised Exchange and Visitation Programme helps high conflict families manage difficulties over child access matters. It provides a safe platform for children who express strong reluctance and discomfort about meeting their access parent. Counsellors help by mitigating distrust and working on the complex family dynamics. Supervised Exchange and Visitation is an interim measure to facilitate families to work towards independent child access. The end goal is to help parents co-parent effectively and build secure parent-child relationships over time without compromising the child’s sense of personal and emotional safety.
Thye Hua Kwan Centre for Family Harmony and Care Corner Centre for Co-parenting are the two appointed Divorce Support Specialist Agencies that offer the Supervised Exchange and Visitation Programme.
This programme is strictly for court ordered cases only.
E. Support Groups and Counselling
During counselling sessions, individuals and families come together in a safe and confidential platform where they can share experiences and offer mutual support to one another.
Some free support programmes at the DSSAs are:

Care Corner Centre For Co-Parenting

Enlivened Hearts Women's Support Group

The 4-session group work is designed to help women cope with the pain of divorce and to recover from the emotional trauma.

HELP Family Service Centre

Video Conference

A direct video link service to the courts to apply for the enforcement of existing spousal and/or child maintenance orders.


A peer support group that facilitates emotional healing for parents and children.

The Big Brother and Big Sister (BBBS)

A befriending programme for children aged 10 to 16 years who are affected by their parents' divorce.

The Family Enrichment Programme (FEP)

This programme provides opportunities for personal growth and development for families by strengthening their family support system.

PPIS As-Salaam Family Support Centre

M.A.W.A.R Support Programme for Single Mothers

This programme provides support to divorced mothers with dependent children.

SALAAM Support Programme

For children/adolescents who experience grief arising from loss of parents through divorce.

Thye Hua Kwan Centre for Family Harmony @ Commonwealth

Mindfulness Parenting

This programme helps divorcing/divorced parents to improve their communication skills for better parent-child relationships.

Daddy's for Life

A support programe to help divorcing/divorced fathers learn from each other's experiences, and build a strong relationship with their children.
For more information on divorce support services and programmes, you may email MSF at  dssaprogrammes@msf.gov.sg


Maintenance Support

The Women’s Charter was enhanced in 2011 and allows the Family Justice Court to utilise a wider range of measures with respect to maintenance enforcement cases.
A referral protocol between the Community Justice Centre (CJC) and Social Services Offices (SSOs) was put in place to ensure that vulnerable families receive the necessary support they require. The protocol allows:
  • parties (both men and women) identified at the CJC to be referred to the nearest SSO for timely assistance; and
  • parties (both men and women) seeking help at the SSOs to be referred to the CJC for legal assistance.
In both cases, as long as a party is in need, the SSOs and/or CJC will render appropriate assistance, e.g. cash or food vouchers. The primary concern is to ensure the family’s welfare.
From 1 July 2016, a husband or ex-husband who is incapacitated (supported by medical certification) up to the point of divorce, cannot earn a livelihood and is unable to support himself may apply for maintenance. This incapacitation must be evident throughout the maintenance application process.

Reporting Maintenance Debts

Divorcees whose ex-spouses fail to provide maintenance can report maintenance debt to the DP SME Commercial Credit Bureau (DP).
After the applicant files a report, DP will: 
  • send quarterly SMS reminders to the defaulter for payment to be made (subject to availability of contact number); and
  • record the maintenance arrears as accorded in the court order (i.e. money that is owed and should have been paid earlier) as monetary debts under the defaulter’s information in DP’s database, which may affect his/her credit worthiness.
The report can be made by:
  • claimants of maintenance; or
  • their caregiver; A one-time registration fee of $53.50 is charged for each case file lodged with DP. Low income complainants as well as cases referred through the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO) are entitled to a fee waiver.  

Other services

DP also offers an optional “debt collection service” where their officers conduct telephone or site-visits to locate the defaulter  A 20% commission fee is charged for each successful payment received through this service.
DP usually recommends this service for cases where the defaulter has gone missing or as a last resort for those who ignore repeated reminders.

You may contact DP at 6320 1900 or email cs@dpgroup.com.sg.
For a full list of support services provided by various centres and organisations to address issues arising from divorce, click here.

How Much Does It Cost to Get a Divorce? A Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Fees in Singapore

Last updated on May 21, 2018
Featured image for the "How Much Does It Cost to Get a Divorce? A Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Fees in Singapore" divorce fee guide. It features a couple sitting on a bench. A broken heart that is bleeding coins floats above their heads.
Divorce can be stressful and complicated. Despite this, many have reservations about hiring a lawyer to assist with their divorces, with legal fees and the issue of overcharging having come up as key concerns.
In response to these concerns, we interviewed divorce lawyers on their fees and compiled our insights into a massive 44-page guide which you can download for FREE.
The cover of SingaporeLegalAdvice.com's divorce fee guide.
Titled “How Much Does It Cost to Get a Divorce? A Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Fees in Singapore”, this guide provides fee estimates for getting a divorce in Singapore, based on how the case progresses and how the lawyer charges for the work (e.g. hourly rate, or lump sums for various stages of the divorce, or on a per-service basis).

If You’ve Ever Wondered One of These Common FAQs, Then This Guide is For You:

  • How do lawyers charge for divorce work?
  • How do divorce lawyers collect their fees?
  • Are lawyers necessary for divorce work?
Answers to these questions (and more) in our divorce fee guide!

What’s in the Guide?

When you download our guide, you will get access to all these chapters:
  1. Introduction
  2. How to Get a Divorce in Singapore: Requirements
  3. How to Get a Divorce in Singapore: Procedure
  4. Divorce Fees (In General)
  5. Divorce Fees (In Stages)
  6. Other Fees You May Incur in a Divorce Case
  7. Will Your Spouse Have to Pay You If He/She “Loses” the Case?
  8. Paying Your Divorce Lawyer: Payment Methods
  9. What If You’re Dissatisfied With the Bill?
  10. Legal Assistance
  11. Is It Advisable to Divorce Without a Lawyer?
  12. Next Steps: How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer
  13. Glossary
Through this guide, we hope you will gain a better understanding of the estimated fees you can expect to pay if you were to hire a divorce lawyer. Download your free copy today!
Download Divorce Fee Guide

Divorce rate at a 10-year high, fewer getting married

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