Pages

Friday, April 17, 2015

“Living Together in Myanmar Context and Prenuptial agreement”

My discussion on the issue: Living together in Myanmar context and prenuptial agreement.

My discussion on the issue: Living together in Myanmar context and prenuptial agreement.


My discussion on the issue: Living together in Myanmar context and prenuptial agreement.

If we ask Myanmar people that ‘can you accept living together?’, most of the people will answer that they can’t. It’s not a surprise. Especially older people, parents and religious people will not agree absolutely. In Burmese (include all ethnic group) concept and culture, they think that talking about sex in public or school is not a good thing and shameful thing. There is not much awareness of sex. Parents don’t share about it and, they think that it’s no need to share and, young men will know by themselves. It’s not match with culture and religion .However living together before marriage can give us good things and also make bad ones. One thing, we have to think more serious that living together is a strong flow in globalization and, we can’t ban it.           
  
Firstly I want to discuss Living together before marriage with positive view. By living together before marriage, we can see well she/he is worth to marry or not. Because of living together before marriage, we can understand well our partner’s personality, character, behavior, thinking/idea and moods. We can see that whether we can match to each other in sex, whether we can negotiate with our partner, if we get married actually. It’s very important when we decide to marry. If we don’t know well a bout each other and get married, we can face many problems that we can’t negotiate, character and also sex (many couples separate and spouses do commit adultery because they can’t give satisfactions to each other in sex - bad in bed. Dr. Khin Mang Ngio stated that case in his book and also Health Digest Journal always state how sex is important in Happy Family life). So most of the couple was??? to divorce after marriage. I think that divorce before marriage is better than divorce after marriage. 

                   I would like to review some effects of living together. But we can see cons of living together before marriage. Living together makes the lack of trust and loyalty of couple. If it’s over, the number of abortion may be higher more than before. In the article, “Cohabitation or Marriage?” of Rev Declan Flanagan and Dr ES Williams, they  have stated that ‘ In UK, the proportion of women reporting an abortion in the last five years is least common among the widowed (1.2%) and married (2.6%); single women reported higher rates (7.3%), but the highest rates were among cohabiting women (10.2%).’ According to this survey, it was obvious that the number of abortion is highest rates were among cohabiting women. 

                The effect of it is that some conflict of social, culture and religious more appear. Dr. Helen Watt has mentioned that, what has happened to society, more than three decades after the passing of the Abortion Act in Britain.  He stated that ‘Society has not become more welcoming of children, or more celebratory of pregnancy. In the same way, men have been encouraged to back away from their responsibilities for their partners and their children. Medicine has not become more respectful of human life. Instead of serving the health of their patients, and supporting those who cannot be cured, doctors increasingly see themselves as mere technicians serving patients’ desires. With the coming of legal abortion, thousands of children have lost their lives at the hands of such doctors. Every abortion is a human tragedy for the child and for its mother. No child can be ‘replaced’ by a child born later. Every child is an individual, with its own future to respect.   

              think that most of modern young people may accept. Nowadays we can see that culture gradually appear, especially urban like Yangon, Mandalay. This culture come from western and gradually influences some Asian countries especially develop country because of a globalization flow. Last Saturday night, in Falam Youth Talk, a female student who attends university in Japan, shared us about the situation of living together in Japan us. In also Myanmar, the government makes political change on the road way to democracy and use opened economics system. And citizens ask more Human Rights. We can say that the wave of globalization will strike our country more. So the culture of living together from western will gradually mix to Myanmar culture . If Myanmar economics is opened and trade with international corporations especially from EU and US and, foreign business more invest .There will be probably culture shock. Even though most of people can’t accept, we can’t ban absolutely that wave. So I think that we should think how to use effectively in Myanmar society.

Now, I would like to analyze another issue, prenuptial agreement, especially advantages and disadvantages. What can be the consequences? Let us consider whether we need it.

            Why we may need? Nick Fagan have stated  some advantages of a prenuptial agreement. He said that, when a couple decides to marry, they have many decisions to make relate with the property, assets, business matter, protecting their children and money. Prenuptial agreements clear everything up before the individuals get married. And, many couples used to say is how property will be divided in the event of divorce or death. Even if a divorce does occur, the prenuptial agreement may avoid litigation for the parties and, it is already determined clearly where the property, assets and money go. Since these issues will already have been decided in the agreement. Prenuptial agreements can sure that heirlooms and other property of your own family.

Moreover, by referring to protecting children, when we sign a prenuptial agreement, we can ensure that our children (if we have - may be from first marriage) receive your belongings to, the assets and money, and we want them to have in the event that you die before your spouse. Moreover, prenuptial agreement may help to protect an inheritance to a child from an earlier marriage. (if we wish..)
If you’re a partner of a business, a prenuptial agreement can protect your interests in the case of your death. For instance, it can help you by stating that your spouse will claims for any part of the business after your death. In addition to we can also indicate that she is considered a "shareholder" of your partner of the business.

Let us discuss some disadvantages. There are also some disadvantages to have a prenuptial agreement. We may be discomfort to each other in talking issues of divorce before the marriage. We can say that there is no guarantee a court will upheld the agreement. Also, even if an agreement is kept, there's no assurance the entire agreement will be up held. We can see that there are a lot of corruptions behind court over Myanmar. There is no justice litigation in our country that even the couples divorce in court; husband or spouse usually win by bribing to the judge. What is more, it can make the individual of couples less trust. It’s not romantic.

In Myanmar, should we use prenuptial agreement? My envisage is if there are the high number of consequences and affect of divorce_ also not divorces _in our society, it is the sign that we should use. Because many people fear the cost and emotional impact of litigation in Court. For me, there is no reason I can’t accept, and also I hope most of people will gradually accept on the religious, culture point of view because it’s not as a heavy issue as living together. However, I worry as prenuptial agreement, can we consider that the value, dignity and character of family is not serious minor? If people consider whether to have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, they should ask legal advice in local lawyer.

If possible, I love romantic and want to belong Happy Family, and I want to stay faithfully and freely each other forever.           
                                                                            

Ref:http://chinmachael.blogspot.sg/2013/04/my-discussion-on-issue-living-together.html

....

My Discussion on the Issue; “Living Together in Myanmar Context and Prenuptial agreement”


Although many people call “living together” as living in sin, an equal number of people have positive opinion such as living in bliss. But these days it’s almost expected that a couple will live together before tying the knot. According to Myanmar context, whether should we call it living in sin or living in bliss? I am  they call it living in sin because Burmese elderly people bear marriage as first and foremost about family and community in our society. And some youths will call it living in bliss because some youths want to escape from the old traditions which are not adapted by the flow of globalization. Actually, living together before marriage has both the disadvantages and advantages.

Before talking about advantages and disadvantages, let me share about what marriage is and the concept of marriage in Burma culture. In reality, marriage is a great deal or contract between man and woman since marriage is a lifelong commitment and stating that they will be forever respectful, loving and caring for each other. Most of Burmese people traditionally regard marriages as a bonding of families rather than individuals. Moreover, most of marriages and weddings are arranged by families.

Firstly, let’s take a peep in advantages, we should also agree on many things like moral standards, ways on handling hard times, about children, living habits, personal hygiene, etc. Until these things sit well in our mind precisely and satisfactorily, I don’t think we are inthe position to get married. Therefore we need to have lengthy and serious conversation before we get married. If so, there is the only one and the best opportunity to learn each other by living together before marriage.

It’s a lot easier for someone to be on his best behavior for three hours during a date than it is for him to maintain that behavior day after day when you live under the same roof. When you live with someone you uncover habits, attitudes, and behaviors you never see otherwise. You discover sides of your partner’s  personality you cannot know about unless you live together.

Living together requires a sharing of power and control; it demands compromise and flexibility from
both partners, since you’re merging the habits and desires of two unique individuals. So we need to build our relationship firmly before we get married.

On the other side, cons of living together before marriage could be the lack of trust and loyalty. It can
destroy the relationship by expecting too much from it when it’s still developing. In Myanmar, if we live together before marriage, most of the people will blame our actions and we will become anti-society. And also when someone live together with his/her partner, he/she loses their freedom and get in restrictions. For example, girls cannot have their long hair cut because boys do not like it. Boys cannot grow their hair because girls think it gets a bad impression. Everybody has to sacrifice their dreams and even if they choose not to, then they will be constantly bothered by their partner.

If the phrase "living together before marriage" means simply sharing a house or apartment together,
then it is not a problem. If the meaning is having sex before marriage, then no, it is morally wrong. Sex is meant to be within the confines of the marriage relationship, according to the context of Myanmar. In many of western countries, the people make an agreement like a compromise before their marriage.

They called it “prenuptial agreement”, which is made by a couple before they get married, in which they say how their money and property should be divided if they got divorced, according to Oxford Dictionary. And it also has the pros and cons just like living together before marriage. In my point of view, I wish to practice in Myanmar this prenuptial agreement because I think it is a good idea to imitate.

Before discuss about the pros of the prenuptial agreement, I want to discuss about the cons. The agreement can give the appearance that there is a lack of trust between the partners. Depending on the
complexity of their finances and the length of time their negotiations take, they can pay between a few hundred and several thousands if they work with a lawyer. And then it can be difficult to project into the future about how potential issues should be handled, and what may seem like an inconsequential compromise in the romantic premarital period may seem more monumental and burdensome in reality.

Let’s take a jump to the pros of prenuptial agreement. Having a prenuptial marriage agreement does not mean that a couple is anticipating divorce. It can preserve family ties and inheritance. The financial well-being of children from a previous marriage can be protected. A prenuptial marriage agreement spells out which assets a spouse may want to give to children or other family members in the event of death. In the event of a divorce, a prenuptial agreement eliminates battles over assets and finances.

In my personal point of view, both prenuptial agreement and living together have benefit as well as

No comments:

Post a Comment